[DISCLAIMER: If you are offended by African-Americans referred to as “black” or plus-sized people referred to as “fat” or if you think the words “fat” and “black” are derogatory or you think I might be equating obesity to ethnicity or if you are in any other way over-reactionary, flame-mongering or intolerant – THIS IS NOT THE POST FOR YOU. Just FYI.]
I have always had trouble accepting my IRL appearance, and transmuting it into my SL.
My new look is a nod to several SL’rs who proudly take their RL race and put it into their SL with class and enthusiasm. Strawberry Singh and Sydd Sinister are two of my favorite bloggers, who have embraced their differences and made them shine in a world where most people take the easier road – it’s easier to make a “white” shape simply due to the geometry of the face and the tools we’re given in SL. It’s easier to find light colored skins, perky little noses. But Berry and Syd have stuck to their guns and made beautiful diverse avatars – I salute them. Ashe Anthony is another blogger that I follow, and in her I find more inspiration – although she is not fat (like I am) she is black, and perhaps (I infer from reading what she writes) had a little trouble with making her SL appearence more in line with her RL self. It was difficult to do it for her, difficult because she wanted (like so many of us do) to fit in, to be “pretty” and to be liked. Read her post on it here. My friend Clear Canning has mentioned in her blog that she is biracial IRL and finds it difficult to express than in SL due to limitations with skins etc. Yesterday she showed up looking like a VERY convincing Mercedes from Glee and it was totally awesome. xD
Many times in the past I have tried to be more true to my RL self when it comes to the appearance of my SL self. I am a fat, Italian white woman irl. I’m not really big on euphemisms like “fluffy” or “plus-sized” or “full-figured” – I am what I am, it’s fat, deal with it. =P
I have struggled with my weight a lot over the years… I have tried (and failed) to lose it, and tried (and failed) to accept it as just part of who I am. Not necessarily bad, not really good, just me. IN BEFORE “IT’S NOT HEALTHY TO BE OVERWEIGHT BLAH BLAH DIBEETUS BLAH BLAH HEART ATTACK BLAH BLAH.” Yes I know it’s not the healthiest way to be, but for better or worse it IS how I am and it probably isn’t going to change. =P
I have tried (and failed! lol) to make my SL avatar fatter. It never looks “good” to me, I always feel ugly, and awkward. AO’s don’t work right, prims don’t fit, things are unflattering – in fact it’s way too close to real life for comfort! So I never stuck with it. I admired from afar bloggers that made their SL avs larger and more like their RL selves, fashionable and sexy ladies like Mae Tabak, Isabeau Reinard (who makes poses for larger avatars) and Rosie Barthelmess.
I was reading a blog yesterday, I don’t remember which, but it has this section of “blogroll” type links and beside each one was a little thumbnail of the author’s face and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM WAS WHITE. AND SLENDER. And… while most of them are unique in their way, lined up like that in little rows they looked pretty damn the same! Heh.
Last night while watching Beyonce music videos and waffling between “I want to be ON her” and “I want to BE her” thoughts – I decided to take the plunge. I wanted to combine some of my RL fat self and some of friend’s and fellow bloggers black selves and become a shiny new Bunny. My new shape is not what I would consider in ANY world fat – but it certainly isn’t a shape that AO’s and poses are made for, nor is it one you’d see on a runway in New York or Paris.
When I was satisfied with the skin I found and the shape I made, I took a long hard look at myself and realized that I really and truly felt pretty, and really comfortable in my SL self in a way I never had before.
Also, my girlfriend thinks I’m hotter than ever. ^_~
This post is really long now and I am bored of typing. =P
Shape: My own
Skin: [KA] Skins Bardot – Zuri (holyfuckballs, these skins are 1450 L a pop)
Hair: [KA] #5 included with skin, Truth – Annette
Eyes: Negaposi – Sumi
Shirt: Slink – White Button Down
Corset: 5th & Oxford – The Tease underbust corset
Jeans: Decoy – Dana 76
Shoes: Nardcotix – Eva Slingbacks & T-strap Mary Janes
Lingerie: JustB – Silver (shop is closed but still on xstreet I believe)
Earrings: Boom – Door Knockers
Necklace: Whippet & Buck – Repairs Necklace, Acid & Mala – Caged Pearls (prev. Stumblebum)
Poses: Hopscotch, LAP (I think, oh god I forgot, sorry >.<)
[DISCLAIMER 2: I don’t think it’s bad for people to want to be thin, want to fit in, etc. I feel the same way most of the time. I am not hating. THIS IS A NO HATE ZONE. ALERT. ALERT. lol. This is a love post. <3<3<3]